Thirty years ago (on Dec. 12) my adventures as a resident of
New York City began.
Please note the choice of words: Not New Yorker but resident
of New York City.
In fact, I find the idea of considering myself a New Yorker
to be a fraud, one that even on this significant 30-year anniversary, I’m
unwilling to accept. (Although I did write this note only two days ago [Dec. 10],
while traveling in a subway over the East River from Brooklyn to Gotham. “Bluest
sky over Manhattan; a wicked slash of
home, that this place is home.”)
Still, such identification of home as it relates to the
label “New Yorker” requires more than a fleeting feeling. The “fraud” a loaded
phrase like “New Yorker,” the latter being manifest in a slew of tiny cuts of
assumptions -- how a New Yorker dresses,
how a New Yorker views the subway, what cocktails does a New Yorker have after
a long day of work.
I’m not alone in my un-New Yorker-ness. In fact, the
hardened silos of self all around me obviously don’t contain those who think of
themselves as identifying within a group that doesn’t meet their ever-narrowing
definition of self.
Call it exile for want of a more precise term.
Perhaps I cringe from the straitjacket of a New Yorker
sensibility, as is reduced to the clubby magazine of the same name. Imagine, if
you will, the strained community of purebred prancing poodles, heads erect,
never deigning to root about in street trash, the fetid stain, relish the
abnormal, the fresh, the raw exotic that’s not breed-worthy.
Suffice to say, I don’t wear that collar. And if the poodle
masters have their way, I never will.
Which, on the face of it, sounds like sour grapes. But what’s
required is to check your premises. If the world does not share your ideals,
then when you express them and they are not reflected in the outcomes, well,
doesn’t the blame fall on you for the feelings of disappointment? Aren’t you,
always, setting yourself up for disappointment?
And taken further, the health factor … It is so important to keep your
expectations real, to control what you can control. Is it a matter that you “stick
to your guns,” or adjust your thinking, beliefs to obtain the desired result?
It seems to me the objective is to keep it real: to wit, use
a “straight talk” analysis when moved. Be who and what you are, others are
counting on you; it is how to best answer that sticky question: What did you do
during your time on earth to make a difference?
Next: Running for Your Life: Going Postable
